Of Manners and Mommys
by distillery-san
Summary: A visit. lol YxK read it!


Disclaimer: Weiß Kreuz does not belong to me ... bla bla bla (*sigh*) 

Pairing: YxK (soon!)

I´m sorry, if I covered someone´s idea: I did it not on purpose!I hope you forgive me! o.O

- Chapter one -

"Ken, pass me the hose!" 

It was another busy day at the `Koneko Iie Sume´. The infamous playboy and the soccer player were alone, working on bouquets - while Aya and Omi were out for deliveries.

Fucking stress! In less than an hour I´ve got a date. 

The playboy frowned. A pretty hot date, and I will miss it if Ken doesn´t move his ass!!

"Ken!" Must be a sign of old age. the blonde one snickered to himself. "Hey man, are you deaf or what? I said, pass me the hose!"

"..."

What... "Hidaka!!"

"Shut up, Yohji! I can hear you." The smaller one replied, not bothering to move. 

The other one turned around, getting impatient.

"And why the hell am I still waiting for it?"

"Because" Ken growled "you don´t have any manners."

"Huh?" What´s that supposed to mean? Yohji gave him a questioning look. 

The brunette sighed. No manners at all! It´s pardon me, not `huh´ and you add `please´,if you ask for something!

Slowly, Yohji´s face lit up in comprehension. But only for a a second. It darkened again as the message sank in. "You mean to tell me that I´m not polite?!"

A nod "That´s exactly what I´m talking about."

Yohji raised an eyebrow. "Man, are you insulting me? Yesterday you told me that I´m a lazy dumbass, and today you´re questioning my politeness!"

Ken replied with a cough. "First, I´m not questioning anything, I´m telling you the truth. And second... you don´t even know how to spell `politeness`, your highness!"

The smaller one´s lips turned into a sarcastical grin, then he stepped forward and bowed to the stunned playboy.

Yohji´s first reaction was complete bewilderment, but then the infamous playboy_smile® reappeared. "Kenken darling, you´re fouling my honour! Why are we talking about my behaviour, if your personality has a lack of discipline! 

Just now, you´re loud, offensive and totally over- reacting. You´re absolutely not qualified for teaching me social manners! Moreover, don´t act like my mother!"

Now it was Ken´s turn to look surprised. He should have known better! Yohji´s quickness of repartee was a gift! The playboy at a loss of words? Never!

It was a matter of fact that he would not stand a chance against the un- crowned prince of disputes. And his majesty knew that!

Ken sighed. Great, now I´m depressed!

The slightly unnerved brunette turned around, reached for the hose and passed it to the self-satisfied looking guy next to him.

There we are! Yohji grinned like a madman. He had half an hour left, and unlike Ken, the urge to keep on talking. This is gonna be fun!

"Hey, soccer boy! Now, don´t tell me you´re tired of keeping conversation! You see... personally, I believe you´re scared!"

The smaller one stopped in his acting and shot his offender a glare.

"Scared of what? He inched a little closer and halted right in front of the `enemy´. 

"Losing, of course!" Yohji replied. He didn´t bother to move, his carriage was self- assertive and challenging. Ken´s attempt at intimidation wouldn´t affect him.

"Losing?! Against you??" The hotheaded member of `Weiß´ hissed. His fists were clenched in anger. "Are you masochist or sick of life? Or why else do you aim at getting a punch into your lovely face, `honey´!"

"Oh Kenken darling! I didn´t know you´re lusting after me!!" The playboy cried out in mock dismay!"

"What are you talking about..."

"No offence! I can understand that you´ve fallen for my sexy body..." he waved his hair in self- amorousness "You know, a lot of men are attracted to me! But I´m sorry to tell you that I´m absolutely straight! You will find somebody else!"

"Yohji..." Ken´s cheeks were flushed in anger "I AM NOT GAY, and I´m definetly not attracted to an ASSHOLE like YOU! And... 

WHY are we even discussing my sexuality???"

"I don´t know, Ken! Tell me why! But I can understand if you don´t want to talk about it. Life must be hard for a virgin!" 

Yohji smirked, and poor Ken- kun´s rage- level had reached the top. " I . AM . NOT . A . VIRGIN!!!!!! And I´ve finally decided that I don´t want to discuss my sex life with a certain lazy and horny playboy without manners!!!!

"That´s right, sweatheart! You don´t have to explain anything!"

???

Both bishounen focused their attention on the stranger, who had quietly entered the flowershop." It was a pretty lady in the mid- 30ies with blonde hair and green eyes. She was tall and well proportionated.

Oh my God! Don´t tell me this is Yohji´s new chick!Ken cried out inwardly, then he frowned. I didn´t know he had a faible for older women! Moreover, she´s a bit early, isn´t she?!

Then he shot a curious glance at Yohji, his anger totally forgotten. But the self-nominated god of sex was stunned, eyes wide and unbelieving. "Wha... what are YOU doing here?"

The lady sighed. "Yo- chan, sometimes you can be so rude! Are´nt you happy to see me?" 

A hurt expression on her face "I know it´s been a long time... but now I´m here! You know, your little friend is right – you have a lack of discipline! And your behaviour towards HIM" she glanced at Ken "is inacceptable. Goddamnit, he´s your boyfriend! ... and he´s such a sweety!!" 

She sent the confounded subject a smile. 

??????????!!!! 

Is she implying that... "HE´S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!!!!!" they yelled in unison., pointing at each other.

A soft chuckle escaped her mouth. "Oh, I see: you´re living in denial!

But you don´t have to be ashamed of your sexual preferences! I´m okay with it. And if my Yo- chan is happy, I´m happy too. As far as I´m concerned, I believe that homosexuals are the better men, that´s why I´m member of the official yaoi- fanclub. You see, ..."

Ken stared in awe at the newcomer, he was more confused than before. 

I don´t get it! What is that lunatic woman babbling about? I thought she was another one- night stand of Yohji´s, but now... who the fuck is she?? 

"Ehm, excuse me but... WHO are YOU?"

The woman stopped in her speach and smiled "I´m sorry! I haven´t introduced myself, have I? I´m Akiko Koudoh, loving mother of that little bastard next to you! Right, Yo- chan?"

Yohji´s mother???

"Don´t call me `Yo- chan´!" The rehabiliated Yohji pouted. "Anyway, I asked you something: What are you doing here?" 

A hurt look appeared on the crazy lady´s face. "Oh, you´re being rude again! Are you afraid of losing your lover to me?"

His MUM???

"Don´t worry, honey! He´s yours!... not that I´m not interested..." Now she had an evil smile on her lips. " But I promise you: I won´t try to steal him from you..."

"I was kidding... Yohji tried to explain. He´s not –" 

"... I will help you to keep him!"

Yohji´s ... "WHAT???" 

Ken was wide awake in a second, and if the situation wasn´t so absurd, he would have laughed about the expression in the womanizer´s face, the expression of fear. 

Fear of losing his precious reputation. 

Both of them gaped unbelievingly at the older beauty. 

With some sort of psychotic look on her face she exclaimed "Isn´t that great! I will give my baby sexual advice and education in social behaviour! And finally I will meet your friends and co-workers! We will have so much fun all together. But first..." 

Ken & Yohji: Oh, oh!

She let out a scream of excitement "where will I sleep?"

Ken & Yohji: HOLY SHIT !!!!! 

- End of first chapter - 

So what do you think? Continuation yes/no? Please review me.

See ya! 


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